Trauma
by A Paper Flower
Summary: Wherein not everything can go completely back to the way it was. Oneshot. Some NeShiki.


**Disclaimer: I don't own The World Ends With You!**

* * *

**Trauma**

Turtlenecks.

Small necklaces.

Scarves and mufflers.

Ever since the Game ended, Shiki found it impossible to wear these. She could no longer model some of the clothes she and Eri made.

The first week after the Game, she wanted to wear a pretty green turtleneck when she went with her father to see a movie. She and Eri had made two of them, a green one for her and a pink one for Eri. She'd worn it many times, none recently. When she put it on, though, the trouble started.

By the time she woke up again, she and her father had missed the movie entirely. Her dad and elderly neighbor, Mrs. Sasaki, had gotten her changed into a looser shirt. Apparently, the brunette's screaming had gotten the attention of her father, who had been visiting the elderly lady, and the lady herself. They had found her passed out on the floor.

It started happening more frequently. Whenever she tried to put on a necklace, she suddenly found it terribly hard to breathe. She started wearing looser clothes, with more open necklines and such. She couldn't try on some of the clothes she made without a severe reaction.

Then, she started finding it hard to cover her neck with her blanket. On a freezing cold night, she struggled to stay warm without getting that constricting feeling.

It continued for months and months, getting worse. Poor Shiki had no idea what was happening. She had to skip out on a meeting with her friends to finally go see a physician with her father. She gave them no reason why she couldn't make it, only that she was busy.

The doctor examined her and tested his theories, finally settling on one.

_Post Traumatic Stress Disorder._

A severe condition that may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, serious injury, or the threat of death.

Her dad protested, saying that there was no possible way she could have experienced something traumatic without him knowing. Shiki, though, just sat still. PTSD? Why would she have that? Why did she get that suffocating feeling whenever something was put around her neck? Absently, she put her hand up to her throat, rubbing it as soft as she could. Then, it came to her.

Surrounded by people that couldn't even see her.

A cruel laugh filling the air.

Cold blue eyes, finally making eye contact with hers as she was lifter higher, higher, higher.

Her hands prying at the invisible force around her neck, trying so hard to get free...

Get free before he hurt her.

Before he choked her.

Before he _killed_ her.

And in the real world, Shiki's purse clattered to the ground.

* * *

_"Movie night at our house! Come at 8! See ya soon!" _

Shiki reread Rhyme's text as she walked down the streets, her backpack with clothes and such in tow. The siblings' parents were out of town for the weekend, and had given them permission to have a movie night with their friends. A rare thing, of course, but the two teens grabbed the chance while they could.

The group had known each other for almost a year now. They were all the best of friends. Eri had been invited, but she decided to, uncharacteristically, sit this one out. So it was just herself, Rhyme, Beat, and Neku. And Joshua, if he ever decided to come to these things.

Despite knowing each other for that long, this was their first group sleepover. Shiki had slept at Eri's apartment alot, and even Rhyme had come over a few times. But never all of them together. She was a little excited, to say the least.

Finally, Shiki arrived at her destination. Good thing, too. It was starting to rain, and it was already pretty dark.

In her haste to get to the door, she didn't have much time to look at the small house from the outside, though she did notice a familiar skateboard by the door. Quickly, she knocked, waiting only a few seconds before the owner of the skateboard answered the door.

"Neku! You're girlfriend's here!" he yelled into the house.

"She's _not_ my girlfriend!" came the immediate reply from somewhere in the house. A light blush dusted Shiki's cheeks as she stepped in the house, rubbing her arms as if to rub away the cold.

"Shiki, where's your jacket?" Rhyme asked as she came into the small entryway, a cup of hot chocolate in her hands to give to their newest guest. Shiki accepted the drink gratefully, already feeling it warm her hands.

"Um..." What could she say? That she couldn't wear it because it had too high a collar and made her want to faint? Like that would be taken seriously. "I left it at home."

Rhyme nodded, a little skeptical but otherwise fine. "Alright then! Neku's downstairs. We're about to start the movie."

All three of them went downstairs into the carpeted basement, catching sight of a carrot top lounging on the sofa.

"Hey guys," said carrot top, well, said. They all had their own greetings, Shiki's the quietest. Only about a month ago did she find out about her problem, and she had unintentionally distanced herself from Neku a little. She really didn't mean to, it's just that now she knew the root of her problem. She had forgiven him - heck, she did during that same week! And she trusted him too, but something still bugged her.

She dismissed the thoughts she had, taking her seat on the floor beside Rhyme. She ignored the puzzled gazes directed her way as she grabbed the bowl of popcorn nearby.

The movie started soon after. It was some action movie that Shiki had never heard of before. It started off with some characteristic action, but then it toned down a bit as the heroes met an amnesiac girl.

Fighting, more fighting with magic, touching scenes, flying cats - it was alot wrapped into one movie. Shiki was absorbed by it, unlike Beat, who had fallen asleep already, and Rhyme, who had been tired anyway and was curled up next to her brother.

Soon enough, the movie ended. Everyone but her seemed to be asleep, peacefully in dreamland. Slowly, Shiki spread herself out on the floor, her tiredness finally catching up. Feeling only a little uneasy, she went to sleep.

_She was running, running as far as she could in the darkness. Why, she didn't know. She just knew she had to get away!_

_Laughter rang around her as she ran, and the inky darkness started fading away. Her surroundings were blurry, and that's when she realized that she didn't feel the cool metal of her glasses on her face. Her hair felt heavier too._

_She nearly tripped over herself in her haste to stop, taking a lock of hair and holding it where she could see it. _

_Yep, just as she suspected. Bright red, almost pink, hair was on her head, and she was wearing a short tank top and skirt characteristic of Eri. She was in the form of her best friend again._

_The laughter around her quieted to a dull whisper, and she felt an ominous presence behind her. Slowly, ever so slowly, she turned around. The person was blurry, darkness etching their every feature. The figure walked up to her, and she tried to back up._

_They took a step forward._

_She took a step back._

_Step forward._

_Step back._

_Forward._

_Back._

_Suddenly, she gasped as her back hit an invisible wall. The person was right in front of her, and she felt herself freeze. The person put their arm across her neck, slowly pressing her further into the wall. She felt the pressure on her throat, the need for air coming quickly. She tried to cry out, but only wheezed out the last of the air she had. She saw black spots forming in her vision, and she tried one last time to look at the person slowly suffocating her to death. One feature caught her attention._

_Stormy, dark blue eyes._

_"...Shiki! Breathe! Shiki, wake up!"_

She gasped for air as her eyes flew open, her heart racing as her throat burned. She was aware that someone had just stopped shaking her. She turned her head, only to have her breath hitch in her throat.

Stormy, dark blue eyes gazed back at her.

Letting out a scream, she immediately jumped to her feet. Beat and Rhyme, having been woken up by a worried Neku, jumped back, gazing at their friend with concern. Rhyme knew that this was a first time thing, since she had never been this way at a sleepover with the girls before.

"Shiki...?" Rhyme began cautiously, trying not to startle her friend. The brunette was shaking, staring fearfully at Neku. The orange haired boy held her gaze, trying to calm her down.

He took a tentative step towards the girl, acting as though she were an animal ready to flee. And, for all intents and purposes, she was. That step was all it took for Shiki, in her half-asleep state, to bolt up the stairs and out the door of the Bito's home.

She determined that it must have been around midnight, given the inky darkness of the streets. Even the lights that were on in some places didn't help much. The rain was still pouring, and she thought that she could hear thunder in the distance.

But she didn't ponder these things. She just kept running.

Where was she going? She didn't know. Hachiko, maybe. Somewhere that she felt safe.

She soon slowed down, her body already tired since in had been forcefully ripped from its sleeping state. Her heart was pounding, and she felt dizzy.

Why did it have to haunt her still? It had been almost a year! Why couldn't she just let go of it?!

The guilt crashed down on her. Her friends were probably worried sick about her. And Neku...how would she ever explain it to him? That she still had nightmares about when he had nearly killed her? Even though he's more than made up for it? How could she say that to him?

She couldn't. Could she? _No_. She needed to get over it herself. She couldn't just make Neku feel the guilt of that day for the rest of his life!

Her thoughts had kept her attention diverted while she was walking. She didn't even notice that she was in the back streets until her arm was roughly grabbed, sending her crashing back to reality.

"Hey baby..." she heard a voice whisper in her ear. She looked up to see two men, one holding her arm tightly. They both smelled of alcohol, and she guessed they had been stocking up on drinks, since it was illegal this time of night.

"What's a sexy little thing doing all alone at this time of night?" the other man slurred, and, if she hadn't have been in this predicament, she would have belittled herself. Fully awake now, she tried to yank her arm away from the man holding her. Creeper - as she had dubbed him in her mind - kept holding tight to her arm as she struggled.

"Let me go!" she yelled, but it did her no use. There was no sensible person around at this time of night. Freaky - the other guy - laughed at her. Oh, that was the last straw! She had had it!

Shiki lifted her foot and kicked Freaky in the place no man wants to be kicked, then turned and raked her nails across Creeper's face. That made him let go of her, and she immediately bolted down the dimly lit street.

She didn't get far, though, as she was roughly grabbed again, this time being pulled towards Freaky. He put her in a chokehold, successfully stopping her struggles as she felt the awful suffocation attack her.

"Now, running off after that?" Creeper asked, wiping blood off his face. "As if we'd let you go now, dollface."

The eyes staring into hers went the blue ones frequenting her nightmares. These eyes were dirty brown and bloodshot. She couldn't struggle - she couldn't even breathe! Her body soon went limp, though she had not yet passed out. Freaky dumped her in the wet street, and she let out a whimper. Inside, she scolded herself for not standing up to them more. The men both leered at her, and she shut her eyes tight, wishing to die rather than experience what would inevitably happen next. But, her hope in the darkness came shining through.

"Stay away **my** girl, you bastards!"

Not daring to open her eyes, she faintly heard the sounds of fighting. Her mind was going a hundred miles a minute.

Soon enough, the sounds of fighting ceased, and she felt herself being pulled to her feet.

"Shiki..."

Her name was spoken so delicately that she relaxed and opened her eyes. The same blue eyes that she knew so well were staring into her own green ones, filled with worry and relief. That was all it took for everything to come crashing down.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed into Neku's chest, her tears mixing with the rain. Neku wound his arms around her, trying to quiet her.

"...my fault...doctor...PTSD...nightmare..." Shiki was just trying to force an explanation out, but Neku only heard a few words, focusing in one thing in particular.

"PTSD? You have PTSD?" he asked in surprise, and, once she regained her bearings, she backed up a little so that she could look at him.

"Yeah..." she whispered, her eyes finding their way to the ground.

"Why?" he asked, and she brought a hand to her throat, rubbing where it was still sore from earlier. She noticed Neku's expression darken, his wet bangs going over his eyes.

"...It's because of me, isn't it?" he asked, his fists clenching. She was going to protest, but instead hung her head.

"It's from that day, when Uzuki -"

He went silent, unable to finish. Shiki looked up at him, seeing him glaring daggers at the ground.

"Neku, it's-" she started, but was cut off.

"It's _not_ okay!" he hissed at her, but then calmed, hesitantly saying what he needed to say. "I'm sorry. Everyday I remember what I almost did, and it hurts. But it hurts you more."

Shiki gave him a watery smile, leaning forward and wrapping him in her own hug.

"Look now," she whispered, "I'm getting better." And that she was. She hadn't felt safer in years. There, with Neku, she felt completely safe. It was almost as if the fear was disintegrating bit by bit.

She then pulled away with a mischievous smile and a slight blush.

"Now, what were you saying about me being your girl?"

Neku cleared his throat, a blush appearing on his face. Just as he was about to make an excuse, his phone rang. He answered and was met with a steady stream of anxious questions.

"I found her, Rhyme. She's alright. We'll see you guys tomorrow." Shiki heard Rhyme sigh in relief before Neku shut his phone. He picked up a baseball bat with one hand, and held out the other to her, giving her a small smile.

"Let's get you home."

* * *

**As opposed to my more sappy oneshots, this one focused on something I thought appropriate. Shiki had to have had some type of uneasiness after the whole "Don't Kill Me" fiasco. So, I tried to focus on that, but then it got fluffy at the end. Oh well.**

**Leave a review if you can!**


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